Why ‘Hurry Up’ Makes Things Slower

Parents

11 May

There’s a moment most parents know well.
You’re running late.
You need to leave.
And your child is moving… very slowly.
So you say it:
“Hurry up.”
But instead of speeding things up, everything seems to slow down even more.
If this happens in your home, you’re not alone.

Why “Hurry Up” Doesn’t Work

For many ADHD kids, urgency doesn’t create action — it creates overwhelm.

When the brain feels rushed, it doesn’t think,
“I need to go faster.”

It feels:
• Pressure
• Stress
• Confusion about what to do first

And instead of moving quicker, the brain can:
• Freeze
• Get distracted
• Become emotional
• Move even slower

It’s Not Defiance — It’s Overload

ADHD brains already work harder to:
• Plan steps
• Prioritise tasks
• Shift between activities

Adding pressure reduces their ability to access these skills.

So what looks like “not trying” is often a brain that can’t organise itself under stress.

What Helps Instead

When time is tight, it feels counterintuitive — but slowing down your approach can actually speed things up.

You might try:
• Giving one clear step at a time
• Using calm, simple language
• Saying “Let’s do this together” instead of repeating instructions
• Building in extra time where possible
• Using visual cues or routines to reduce decision-making

Less pressure = more access to action.

The Goal Isn’t Speed — It’s Flow

ADHD brains work best when they feel:
• Clear
• Supported
• Regulated

From that place, movement becomes easier — and often faster.